Monday, December 28, 2015

REFLECTIONS - EVALUATING AND IMPROVING OUR MARITAL AND FAMILY RELATIONSHIP




As we are about to enter a new year this week, this blog is about the importance of us doing some reflections on the relationships that matter the most to us.  The word reflection means to meditate on something, so in this case we will be looking back to see how healthy our relationships are and have been.  We want to focus on our relationship with our spouse if we are married, or the relationships with those who are apart of our family.  As a husband or wife we need to see how we can better our relationship with each other.  As parents or siblings we need to see how we can better our relationships with our other family members.  Good marriages don’t happen automatically, but they take hard work between both spouses.  The same is true in that great family relationships don’t happen automatically, but it takes everyone working together as a team in the home.  Our goal should be to have a healthy and strong marriage or family, and one of the ways we can achieve it is through evaluating and improving our relationships. 





I believe there are three areas we can focus on to help us evaluate and improve our marital relationship or our family relationships, which are communication, connection, and commitment.
·      Communication.  When it comes to married couples, communication is important because it helps them to have authentic conversation with one another.  As married couples we need to be able to talk openly and honestly to one another, in order to deal with whatever is right or wrong with our marriage.  As married couples we need to communicate loving words of affirmation and appreciation to our spouse.  As parents we need to communicate to our children how well they are doing and maturing in life.  We need to have authentic conversation with our children pertaining to their behavior and attitude as they grow up.  As well as speaking words of love, affirmation and appreciation to them, even when we need to correct and discipline to them.  Siblings need to constantly be working on communication with their other siblings, in order to have a good relationship with them.
 
·      Connection.  Another area where we evaluate and improve our marital and family relationships are connecting with each other.  In order to connect with our spouse, or our family members we have to communicate with each other, but it is more than just talking to people, it is doing what is needed to connect with them.  It could be as simple as being present with our spouse or family members, who are going through a tough situation in their life and need someone to listen to them.  It is making ourselves available for people giving them our undivided attention.  It is taking time to understand our spouse, parents, or siblings in order to build a better relationship with each other.  As siblings we need to do activities together that will help to promote a good relationship.   

·      Commitment.  Commitment reveals our loyalty to our spouse and family members, being there emotionally and relationally when needed for them.  Commitment says “I will be there with you through the good and bad times together.”    No matter how good a marital relationship we have with our spouse difficulties will happen, but it is important for them to know we are committed to them in the relationship.  As a parent it is important for our children to know we are committed to them, no matter how good or bad they behave.  We want our children to know we love them, and we are committed to them.


As we are getting ready to end the year and start a new year, it is important to evaluate and see how we can improve our marital or family relationship.  As husbands we need to see how we can connect with our wife heart to heart, helping us to have a close knit relationship where they know they are loved.  My wife and I have learned the importance of speaking the truth in love to one another, being able to have the tough conversations of what are the problems or difficulties in our marriage.  As parents we try to talk to our children to see what is going on in their lives, as well as work on our relationship with them to make it better.  My brothers and I are constantly trying to work on our relationship with each other.  I encourage you married couples to talk to each other to evaluate how well your marital relationship is with each other, and together make the changes needed to better your marriage.  As parents evaluate how well you are spending quality time talking to your children, and make the changes to improve your relationship with them.  The greatest things we have are our relationships so let’s take care of them.

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.




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