Many
of us in life at one point in time had to deal with the emotional hurt of
someone who violated our trust. They could
have done something to us intentionally or unintentionally. It could have been a spouse or a family
member that broke our trust, and the weight of their actions caused the pain
and hurt we felt. The reason why I
referred to a spouse or family member is, because we want to look at this topic
in light of marriage and family relationships.
Emotional pain is just as real as physical pain, and it affects us in so
many different ways, physically and psychologically. Dealing with emotional pain coming from the mistrust
of someone who we are in a relationship with, whether it is in a marriage or
family takes time to heal. The question
is “How can we trust someone, when trust been broken?” I believe there are
several choices we can make to help us to heal from the emotional pain caused
by the broken trust of someone, and one of them is the choice to connect with others.
I
would like to recommend a book titled “Healing
Is A Choice” written by Christian counselor Stephen Arterburn. In chapter 1 of the book called “The First Choice: The Choice To Connect
Your Life”, he talks about connecting with other people as a way to help us
heal from emotional hurt and pain. He
says the first choice we must make in order to heal emotionally is for us not to
live in isolation with our hurt, but to connect with others who can assist us
in overcoming our pain. A married couple
name Tina and Teddy made this choice to connect with people in order to deal
with infidelity in their marriage. On
the Steve Harvey show, Tina talked about how her husband cheated on her, and
the emotional pain she experienced from his actions. She had to deal with different emotions of
anger and rage that rose up out of her, in the safety of a small group of
spiritually matured Christians. Tina
didn’t want to be around a bunch of bitter and complaining people who would
have just focused on her problem, but she wanted to be with people who wanted
their best interest. Tina and Teddy
still loved each other, and her husband was repentant and took ownership for
his actions, and he strived to make things right with his wife. As a married couple they wanted to do the
right thing for their marriage, and they trusted God to bring them back
together.
Today
God has restored Tina and Teddy’s marriage, and they are sharing their story. Teddy had to work hard to gain Tina’s trust
again by making restitution for his actions.
The couple was able to overcome the brokenness caused by the mistrust in
their marriage, all because they made the choice to connect with others. As a Christian everything starts and ends with
God. Sometimes we need to get alone and
connect with God to get emotionally healed, and there are other times when we need
to connect with people to help us get healed from our emotional hurt. The person could be a close family member, or
friend that we have an authentic relationship with, who has our best interest in
mind that can help us heal. We might
even need the help of a professional counselor in the area of our
situation. In life we might need to
connect with people who we trust to help us heal, instead of trying to do it alone
in isolation by ourselves.
There
is even a biblical principle that says in Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s
burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
We are called to connect with people in order to help them carry their
burdens (problems), which in this case referring to their emotional pain. Only when we are healed emotionally from our
trust being broken by someone, can we possibly be able to trust anyone again
especially in our future relationships. In order for our trust be restored with the
person who broke it in the first place, it will take both of us working to fix the
relationship. No matter who you are
there might be a time in your life when you will need to connect with someone
who you know, to help you deal with a major situation in your marriage or
family where trust has been broken. The offender could be your spouse or child. The first choice toward healing emotionally
resulting from the broken trust of someone is connecting with other people. Share your pain with someone that you have an
authentic relationship with, which has your best interest in mind to start the
healing process. Hopefully this will help
you to be able to trust the person again.
The choice is ours so let’s choose to connect with the right people.
Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.
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