In
a previous blog I mentioned, the importance of us as parents to teach and model
respect before our children. One of the
reasons why we need to train our children, to respect each family member in the
home, is because it prepares them for life in the real world. I believe there are many disrespectful
children in our society today. Simply
for the reason, that some aren’t even taught or modeled respect in their home. Some children come from families, where their
parents are disrespectful to one another in the home, and as a result they
practice the same behavior in public. We
see children disrespecting parents and adults displaying rude behavior such as
talking back, using foul language, or a lack of manners. Parents, when we teach our children to respect
us, we are teaching them to value themselves and people. This will make them a blessing to others and
successful in society.
Parents,
it is our responsibility and duty to teach our children to be respectful inside
and outside the home. We must deal with
disrespectful behavior when it happens with our children, and we must start
with them while they are young and even when they are teenagers. I remember an incident where my wife had to
correct our son David, for being disrespectful to her. David, who was a teenager at this time, was
attending high school and playing football.
One morning while my wife was driving him to school, they were having a
discussion about a certain matter. As
they were talking, David kept trying to get his point across to convince my
wife, but in the process he kept cutting her off when she tried to talk. My wife told David to be quiet, but he kept
on talking trying to get his way. My
wife pulled the car over to the side, put the car in parked, turned to him, and
she did what I called two pieced him.
She punched him right in the face with either her right and left hand,
or her left and right hand. But he got
the picture and shut up. She said what
she needed to get across, and then proceeded to take him to school.
Our
children have been taught to respect us as their parents, and we have modeled
respect before them. That’s why my wife
didn’t tolerate the disrespectful behavior from our son. The Bible instructs
children to obey and respect their parents.
The only way this can be done, is by parents enforcing it in the
home. In Ephesians 6:1-3 it talks about
children obeying their parents in the Lord, for this is right. This scripture refers back to what God said
in the Ten Commandments, where He commanded children to “Honor your father and mother”, which was the first commandment
given with a promise. That promise was “so that it may go well with you and that
you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
The word “honor” – used in this context translates to mean respect. In other words, God was saying to children
obey and honor (respect) your parents, so things may go well with you and that
you may enjoy a long life here on earth.
As
parents in order to teach our children how to be respectful, we must create a
process that we can practice, that will help produce the desired outcome we
want of them. First, we must teach by
modeling what we want our children to become.
We can only command our children’s respect by modeling what it looks
like to be a respectful person. In Dr.
James Dobson’s book “The New Dare To Discipline”, he said “Parents cannot
require their children to treat them with dignity if they will not provide the
same respect to them in return”. Second,
as parents we need to setup boundaries with our children, and enforce the rules
when they are broken. We must work with
our spouse to establish boundaries that will help our children to become
respectful individuals in society. Third,
use discipline to correct disrespectful behavior. Know that loving discipline encourages and
leads to respect.
As
parents, we are the first authority figures in our children lives. We are preparing them for other authority
figures that they will have to submit too such as: teachers, coaches, police
officers, supervisors and managers.
These people will play major roles in helping our children to be
successful. Parents, let’s do the best
job we can to produce respectful children, that will make an impact in our
society.
Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.
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