One
of the goals my wife and I set out to do when we started our family was to build
a close knit family. And, I must say, I
believe we have accomplished that successfully.
My wife and I made a conscious decision to do certain things together as
a family in order to create a good relational environment for our family. We are not a perfect family because we still
have our share of family problems and misunderstandings with each other, but we
never allow anything to rip us apart. We
are well connected relationally together because of the things we did as a
family. What we practiced as a family is
what I would call ingredients for having a close knit family.
The
word ingredient usually refers to the different elements that make up a recipe
for baking and cooking things like a cake.
If you have ever have baked a cake before you understand that you
typically follow a recipe that calls for different types of ingredients. These ingredients are needed in order to bake
a cake successfully. When baking a cake
you need different ingredients like flour, eggs, milk, sugar, baking soda,
baking powder, etc. When you mix all of
the ingredients together, and follow the baking instructions once the cake is
finished baking, if you have followed the directions correctly you should have
a nice moist cake. Additionally, when we
are intentional about discovering and practicing the right ingredients that
will help us build a good family relationship with each other, it can work
towards us having a close knit family.
My
wife and I put into practice several ingredients that we thought were needed to
produce a close knit family. We did
certain things as a family while our children were young growing up, and others
we are still doing them now. I asked my
wife and children to give me their opinion of the ingredients they thought
helped us have a close knit family:
1.
Our
love and respect for one another.
2.
Eating
meals together as a family and having conversation around the meal table.
3.
Taking
vacations together as a family.
4.
Being
open and honest with one another.
5.
The
assurance of being able to share your feelings without being judged.
6.
Playing
card and board games together.
7.
Watching
movies at home together.
8.
Going
out to eat and to the movies together as a family.
When
our family overtime practiced these ingredients for having a close knit family,
it caused us to connect together relationally with each other. Also, I believe the closeness that we
experienced together was a by-product of what the Bible calls “unity”. Unity means “oneness”, and it can cause us to
have oneness in our marriage and family.
On the other hand disunity means “a lack of oneness", and it can
cause us to have chaos in our marriage and family. As parents we had to model a close knit
relationship with each other by practicing the right ingredients, in order for
our children to see what kind of family relationship we could experience together. As a result we have developed such a close
family today that even with our children being young adults, they still love
doing all of the things I mentioned on my list together as a family. Unity helped us to have oneness, and that
oneness has sustained a close knit family relationship for us.
So
you might ask yourself “How can I have a close knit family?”, and “What
ingredients can I practice in my family?”
Well, if you are married I encourage you to sit down with your spouse
and come up with a list of ingredients that you think can help build a close
family. If you are a single parent I
encourage you to try to come up with a list of ingredients that can help you
build a close family. Commit to
practicing and modeling the ingredients in your home before your children, so
you can give them a picture of what they can experience in a close knit
family. God
created the family unit so we could connect with one another
emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.
Let’s begin to enjoy the close knit family relationship that we were
created for, today.
Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.
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