CONNECTING WITH MY CHILDREN

In my last blog I shared about connecting with my wife and today I want to talk about connecting with my children.  I must say my wife and I are truly blessed to have three children that God has given to us, two daughters and a son.  Their ages are 18, 24, and 27.  When I became a father, I knew I had to take my job as a parent serious in order to become the best dad I wanted to be for my children, just like my father demonstrated before me.  In fact the two greatest things that give me the most satisfaction and joy in life are my relationship with God and my family.  I believe the only reason why I have the kind of relationship with my family is because of my relationship with God.  I had to work hard on connecting with my children in order to have the type of crazy and fun loving family I have today.   

Connecting with our children is about identifying with them.  This includes areas such as the things they’re going through in life whether good or bad, empathizing with them about their feelings, entering into their world, and validating their feelings to understand them.  I learned the importance of connecting with my children in order to have a good relationship with them, by my father’s example of connecting with his children.  My parents were married and had three sons.  My mother and father loved us and they tried to connect with us the best way they knew how.  My father made an effort to connect with us by spending time with us when he came home from work, talking to us, and taking us on trips.  My father made sacrifices to have a great family.

That’s why I have made a conscious effort through the years to connect with my children.  I have made a practice of scheduling time on my calendar to take each one of them out separately, so we can connect relationally. I take my daughters out on dates and hang out with my son.  Even now as my children are young adults I am still continuously building an authentic relationship with them.  We have the kind of loving relationship where they’re comfortable sharing with me their true feelings without being judged, and talk to me about what’s going on in their lives.  Also, I know I can impart wisdom into their lives when they desire my opinion and advice.  We have the type of relationship where we can speak the truth in love to one another.  It is my desire to be well connected with my children spiritually, relationally, and emotionally in their lives.

As parents we are the key factors when it comes to our daughters and sons having stable lives emotionally and relationally.  It is important that we take time to connect with them.  I believe when God created the family, He gave us the responsibility of caring and being active in our children lives.  Children are not a burden but a blessing.  In fact in the Bible, Psalm 127:3 tell us “Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from Him. 

As fathers we have the responsibility to connect with our children in order to build a strong healthy relationship with them.  This allows them to know that we care about what’s going on in their lives.  I am not saying mothers aren’t important when it comes to connecting with your children.  But, I do believe some of the problems we are experiencing as a society today of so many dysfunctional families is due to the epidemic of absent dads.  As dads we need to take steps to become active in our children lives by doing simple things like taking them out to eat, talking with them, playing video games with them (if they’re into it), doing outside activities with them, and going to events they are involved in like sports, dance, cheerleading, band, or whatever they’re participating in.  Over time as you connect well with your children and build an authentic relationship with them, they will begin to share with you what’s going on in their lives and look to you for advice.  Here’s a quote from a young lady named Stella Payton that says “Beautiful is the man who leaves a legacy that of shared love and life. It is he who transfers meaning, assigns significance and conveys in his loving touch the fine art and gentle shaping of a life. This man shall be called, Father.”  So as parents let’s take time and connect with our children.

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions or feedback.