THE DANGEROUS AFFECTS OF SIBLING RIVALRY

A healthy sibling relationship between brothers and sisters can help siblings experience a long lasting relationship with each other.  When I talk about a healthy sibling relationship, I mean it is a relationship where brothers and sisters have grown up knowing one another, playing together, working through their conflicts together, and have built a close relationship with each other.  The opposite can be true when brothers and sisters have an unhealthy relationship with their sibling, they will choose to stay isolated and separated from them.  One thing that can kill a relationship between siblings is sibling rivalry, where they allow jealousy to keep them apart from each other. 

In an article called “Sibling Rivalry: What we can learn from the past” written by Raychelle Cassada Lohmann MS, LPC, she shares a classic story that shows us, the dangerous affects of sibling rivalry on sibling relationships.  The story is about a dispute between the Dassler brothers, who went on to create two great tennis shoe companies named Adidas and Puma.

During the 1920’s, Adolf (Adi) and Rudolph (Rudi) were partners in the Dassler Brothers Sports Shoe Company, which was a business that operated out of their mother’s laundry room in Herzogenaurach, Germany.  Adi was known for his creativity and craftsman and Rudi was the salesman.  The Dassler brothers were having success with their shoe business.  In fact, one of the people that helped catapult the business was the American Olympic legend Jesse Owens.  He wore a pair of their shoes in the 1936 Olympics, where he won four track and field gold medals.  You would have thought with the success the brothers were having in their business, they would have seen the value of working together, and appreciating their relationship with each other in regards to accomplishing things together.  Instead of this happing the brothers allowed jealousy and bitterness to tear them apart.

In 1948, the brothers separated from one another to develop their own companies.  Adi named his business “Adidas”, and Rudi named his business “Ruda” and later changed it to “Puma”.  Both brothers were successful with their shoe business, but if they hadn’t allowed jealousy and bitterness to destroy their relationship they might have achieved more together.  As a result of the brother’s dispute with each other, Nike entered in the shoe industry, and eventually took over and dominated the market for athletic shoes.  History tells us that the brothers never tried to resolve their conflict with each other before they died. 

The Dassler brothers are an example of how sibling rivalry can destroy our relationship with our siblings.  There is a biblical story that shows us the dangerous affect of sibling rivalry between two brothers named Cain and Abel.  In the story of Cain and Abel, both of them offered up sacrifices to God.  God accepted Abel’s sacrifice, but He rejected Cain’s sacrifice.  Instead of Cain seeing why God didn’t accept his sacrifice, he became so jealous of Abel that he killed him.  I believe Cain’s jealousy through sibling rivalry drove him to kill his brother.  Some of us may never kill someone physically, but if we are competing with our siblings in an unhealthy way because of jealousy, we can allow it to kill and destroy our relationship with them.  We can separate ourselves from our siblings, not having anything to do with them.  All this will do is deprive us of a wonderful family experience, which God intended for us to have with our brothers and sisters. 

I am thankful for the relationship that I have with my siblings.  We are constantly trying to build on our relationship, by going out for breakfast once a month to stay connected with each other.  We have our good times together, and we have our times when we have to resolve conflicts between us.  We try not to allow jealousy or anything to come in between us, that could ultimately kill and destroy our relationship with each other.  Sibling rivalry can negatively affect your relationship between you and your siblings.  If you have a strained relationship with them because of sibling rivalry, I encourage you to try to work things out with your brothers and sisters.  If jealousy or anything else has separated you from your siblings, then seek out the best way to reconnect with them.  If you need to forgive someone ask God to help you to do it, then do so in order to restore the relationship.  Let’s all do what we can to experience a healthy sibling relationship.   

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.