NAVIGATING YOUR TEENAGER THROUGH THE TEEN YEARS - Part 2

                                             

Today we are continuing the topic that I started last week called “Navigating Your Teenager Through The Teen Years”.   I shared with you how my wife and I have been able to successfully raise our three children through the tough teenage years.  The teen years can be a little rough because teenagers are in that transition period where they are going from the childhood stage to the adolescent stage.  They are trying to get their independence so they will challenge you as parents, but you have to be able to lovingly and patiently navigate them through this time. 

I believe as parents, we can navigate our teenager through the teen years successfully by practicing three keys which are: make sure our teenagers feel unconditionally loved, make sure we build a relationship with our teenagers, and make sure we discipline our teens out of love instead of anger. Today we want to cover the last two keys.  

·         Make sure we build a relationship with our teenagers.  The next key we need to practice with our teenagers to get them through the teen years is building a relationship with them.  We must work to connect with our teenagers emotionally and relationally by talking to them, getting into their world, and being involved in their lives.  We need to give teens their space for independence to make decisions, but still stay well connected with them having an open line of communication.  Being involved with our teenagers lives means showing interest in understanding their likes and dislikes, and their ambitions and goals for life.  I know my wife and I were involved in our teenagers’ lives, when all three of them decided what college or trade school they wanted to attend.  They choose the schools for themselves, but we walked with them through the process.  We must also not allow our teen’s good or bad behavior dictate our relationship with them, but affirm them for who they can become.  Our relationship shouldn’t be based on performance.  Purpose to build a relationship with your teenagers.   

   

·         Make sure we discipline our teens out of love instead of anger.   As parents in building a relationship with our teens, realize there will be times when we will have to discipline them, because of going against our rules or authority in the home.  When they challenge our authority, it is important that we discipline our teens out of love and not anger.  When we discipline our teenagers out of anger, it can damage our relationship with them because we can say or do something we will regret later.  Teenagers may also go against our teachings, but no matter how they respond we must lead them by modeling what we want them to become.  They may also display bad behavior or attitudes toward us as parents, so if that happens we must be willing to discipline them when needed.  An important fact teenagers need to understand is that we love them, but we are their parents not their friends.  We need to establish rules with our teenagers, but more importantly we need to work to establish a relationship with them.  Josh McDowell says “rules without relationship equals rebellion.”  Build a relationship with your teen, but discipline them out of love and not anger.   

It is important for us as parents to carefully navigate our teenagers through the difficult teen years.  We navigate our teenager(s) by our past experiences as a teenager, listening to others like our parents noticing how they raised us as a teenager, faith in our philosophy for raising our children, and the facts of seeing how our teenager is responding to our parenting.  Solomon the wisest man who ever lived said in Proverbs 3:1 & 2 “My child, never forget the things I have taught you.  Store my commands in heart.  If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying.”  As parents you are responsible to help steer and chart a course for your teenager(s).  At the end of the day our goal for our teenagers should be to develop and mature them personally, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally so they can be the best version of themselves as an adult in society.    

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.