THE ROLE LEADERSHIP PLAYS IN THE HOME - Part 1

Normally when we talk about the topic of “leadership” we always think about people leading a group of people on their job, someone heading a business or organization, or a manager or supervisor.  We usually don’t think about people needing leadership skills in the home, but to lead a family or marriage a parent or spouse needs leadership ability. When we think about certain qualities that are needed in a home, we always speak about such qualities as love and respect.  People seldom think of leadership being a quality, but it is needed in order to have a successful home.  In fact our leadership ability as a spouse or parent in the home, can determine our level of effectiveness to influence the individuals in our marriage and family.  My wife and I have seen the importance of leadership in our lives, even as a spouse and parent.  Our level of effectiveness as leaders is seen by our influence and willingness to follow one another’s leadership.

Dr. John C. Maxwell in his book “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”, talks about a law called the “The Law of The Lid”.  The Law of The Lid says, “Leadership Ability Determines a Person’s Level of Effectiveness.”  In other words, as a leader your leadership ability (good or bad) will determine your level of effectiveness (positive or negative) whether people will be influenced enough to follow you.  I believe when referring to the home, the lack of leadership ability can cause us to become an ineffective leader.  Developing our leadership ability can cause us to become an effective leader in the home.  In order to grow our leadership ability, we must be willing to develop as leaders.

I believe there are three qualities that will help our leadership ability grow, and develop us as good leaders.  Those three qualities are our character, approachability, and modeling.  We must be able to lead ourselves before we can lead others, even in the home.

·         Character – Are we the same person in public that we are in private?  This mean the way we treat people in public, should be the same way we treat our spouse and children at our home in private.  Men we shouldn’t always be complimenting other women on our job, but we can’t say anything nice to our wife.  Women you shouldn’t always be looking beautiful for other men, but you can’t look pretty for your husband.  Parents we shouldn’t always be encouraging other kids, but we can’t encourage our children.  In other words, if we love and respect people we interact with in public, we shouldn’t be mistreating or disrespecting our spouse and children in private.  When our spouse and children see our character lived out in the home, they can appreciate our leadership by following us.

·         Approachability – Do people feel like they can approach us?  Approachability is when people feel like they can talk to you, without jumping through hoops or fearful of the attitude you are going to respond to them with.  When people approach us do they feel like they have to walk on egg shells, or do they feel safe enough to speak their mind and be received in a respectful way?  Our spouse and children should be able to approach at any time feeling safe enough to talk to us, instead of being afraid because they don’t know what type of attitude they will receive from us.  As a leader in the home we must be approachable, if we are going to be trusted by our spouse and children to effectively lead them.      

·         Modeling – Do we practice what we preach?  Modeling is us living out the principles that we teach in our home for our spouse and children to follow in their lives.  As a husband or wife, if we are asking our mate to make certain sacrifices, then we must be ready to make the same sacrifices in our life.  As a parent, if we don’t want our children doing or saying certain things, then we shouldn’t be doing it as well.  The mark of a true leader is being an example for those he or she is leading, which will cause them to be respected enough to be followed.    

It is important that we grow our leadership ability so we can become effective leaders in the home.  We can do it by working on such qualities as our character, approachability, and modeling.  My wife and I have tried to live out our character, by treating one another the same way in private that we do in public.  We have tried to build a culture of approachability in our home where we can come together as a family, and talk about issues we are having without being blasted or put down by each other.  We try to live out what we preach to each other.  Leadership definitely plays an important role in the home between married couples and parenting children.  As a spouse or parent your level of effectiveness as a leader is seen by, how you influence others to follow you in a positive way.  That’s successful leadership in the home.    

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.