THE VALUE OF HEALTHY SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS

I consider myself very blessed and grateful for having the siblings that God has given me in my life.  My mother and father had three sons (Robert, David, and myself), which I am the youngest.  Growing up I remember having good times together with them, and doing things that caused us to build a good relationship.  Many times my two brothers did things with me such as taking me to the movies, playing football and basketball with me, and going out to eat lunch or dinner.  I remember the many holidays we spent together as a family, even after my brothers got married.  Don’t get me wrong we had good times together, but there were also many times when we got on one another’s nerves. Our parents instilled in us the value of heathy sibling relationship, and it is this factor that taught us the importance of sticking together, not letting anything come in between us.  Even today we still love each other and get together.

Healthy sibling relationships are valuable for our personal development, and social development with other siblings and people.  In fact other experts such as Raychelle Cassada Lohmann MS, LPC wrote an article called “Healthy Sibling Relationship”.  She said “Did you know research has shown that healthy sibling relationships can significantly benefit us later in life?  Those with positive sibling relationships report higher life satisfaction and low rates of depression later in life.  Also in times of illness and traumatic events, siblings provide emotional, social, and psychological support to each other.  Research show that this support is common regardless of whether they live next to or far away from each other.”   I know for some people their experience with siblings growing up in a family is marred by sibling rivalry, fighting, conflicts, rejection, and other negative things.  As a result of such behavior it has caused a lot of people to experience emotional hurt.  If people aren’t healed from their emotional hurts, they can carry those wounds right into a relationship with someone, and it can affect the relationship.

Parents if we want our children experiencing healthy sibling relationships with their brothers and sisters, it starts with us communicating that we will not tolerate disrespectful behavior between them.  As parents we must set the example of how we want our children to treat their siblings, and this is done by the way they see us treating one another.  It is inevitable for children to argue, fuse, and disagree at times among one another as a family.  It is important that we teach our children to love and respect each other, even when they are in a conflict with one another.  Here are some tips we can practice with our children for encouraging kindness in the home:

·         Teach mutual respect – Do not allow children to insult one another.

·         Do not play favorites – We are to love and treat all our children the same. 

·         Teach conflict-management – Do not deny our children’s feelings, but help them learn to express their emotions in an appropriate way.

·         Do not ignore good behavior – Praise our children when they are exercising good behavior.

My experience of living in a healthy sibling relationship with my brothers, has prepared me for being able to raise our children to also experience a healthy sibling relationship.  Working along with my wife, we set the example for how we wanted our children to love and respect each other, by them seeing us treat one another with love and respect.  Growing up our children played together, talked to each other, and socialized well with one another.  We had family dinner together where we could connect with each other in order to build a close relationship.  Our children didn’t always agree or see eye-to-eye on things with one another, but they were able to work things out.  Today our kids enjoy spending time doing things together.  I encourage you as parents to help your children to work through their difficulties, and bond together in order experience a healthy sibling relationship with their brothers and sisters. Tell your children, “We are family, and we will not say anything that doesn’t build up one another.  We will respect each other.”

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.