FULFILLING MY CHILDREN'S EMOTIONAL NEED, FOR BEING LOVED - Part 3

                             

Today this is the final part of the series called “Fulfilling My Children’s Emotional Need, For Being Loved”.  Last week we looked at the question “How can we as parents discover our children’s love language, in order for them to feel loved?”, and we discussed three love languages (physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time).  Today we are going to look at the last two which are receiving gifts, and acts of services.  As parents we are called to love our children according to their emotional make up and need for love, which is according to their emotional bent or personality.  That means if we have more than one child, then we must love all of them equally, but differently according to their emotional bent.  Discovering our children’s love language(s) can help us to love them the way they feel loved.  Let’s discuss the last two love languages which are:    

·         Receiving Gifts – Another love language that parents can use to express love to their children is receiving gifts.  Receiving gifts says to our children “I love you”, “I am thinking of you”, and “you are special to me”.   For our children to understand the true meaning of this love language “receiving gifts”, they need to understand the spirit and attitude behind the gift given to them.  Our children need to know that no matter the cost or size of the gift they are receiving, it was given to them out of love.  As parents we want to make sure that they don’t have an attitude of feeling entitled, because it will lead to them becoming selfish and expecting gifts all the time.  Our children need to understand a gift is given to someone out of the goodness of a person’s heart because of love, and not because they deserve it.  If our children grow up with a selfish attitude as a child, they will take that same attitude into their adult life.  We can give gifts to our children at any time of the year, but the ones whose love language is receiving gifts will have their emotional love tank filled.  As a result they grow up being aware that receiving gifts is one their love languages. 

·         Acts of Service – When we look at the final love language, it involves parents serving their children, and their kids feeling loved.  When acts of service are done properly the one receiving the service feels loved.  In this case as parents when we lovingly serve our children through acts of service, their emotional need for being loved will be fulfilled.  Acts of service are such things as washing our children’s clothes, helping them with their homework, cooking and washing dishes for them, and others things.  Being a parent automatically means we must serve our children.  If we are going to teach them how to be independent as an adult living on their own, we must model serving before them in the home.  As our children see us serving the family through acts of service, it teaches them how to serve their family and others when they grow up.  They will feel genuinely loved through our acts of service and fulfilled emotionally.             

As parents we need to discover our children’s love language.  Here are four ways we can:   

·         Observe how our children express love to us.

·         Observe how our children express love to others.

·         Listen to what our children requests most often.

·         Notice what our children most frequently complains about.

Even though we discover our children’s primary love language, it is important that we express love to our children through all of the love languages. We need to love our children according to their bent, which means their emotional make up based on the biblical principle in Proverbs 22:6.  My wife and I have talked with our children about their love languages, as well as observing them how they feel loved.  We had to learn how each one of them felt loved according to the way they were wired personally, and it has paid off because it has allowed us to connect with one another as a family.  As parents I encourage you to take time to discover your children’s love language, so you love them and they can feel loved by you.  We can fulfill our children’s emotional need for being loved, but it will take work by displaying unconditional love.

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.