DATING OR COURTSHIP, A FOUNDATION FOR BUILDING A MARRIAGE - Part 1

                                       

Today I am are starting a new blog series entitled “Dating Or Courtship, A Foundation For Building A Marriage”.  The purpose for this series is to let people know that the habits they practice in their dating or courting relationship, will carry over into their marriage, and will become the foundation they build their marriage on as a couple.  We will focus on three habits that can become the foundation of our marriage which are our spirituality, character, and friendship with our partner.  I want to encourage someone that have been hurt emotionally, heartbroken, or discouraged because of experiencing a bad dating relationships with someone.  I also want to encourage those who desire to get married, not to give up your hope on marriage.  Just know that during the right time in your life it will happen.  Even though I am not dating anymore because I have been blessed with a mate, my wife and I still go on dates twice a month.  It is my desire that you will have a successful and healthy marriage.   

When I look at today’s culture pertaining to the dating scene that is portrayed by our media for single men and women, it is all about partying, drinking and sex.  We hear it in the songs that are played on the radio, and we see it in the movies that are presented to us.  Many dating relationships are all about sex and how many sexual partners can you have or enjoy.  In our culture dating is more about finding the right person by hanging out with them, and hooking up with them sexually to see if we are compatible together.  The problem with the current dating method is a lot of times it leaves people emotionally hurt especially women, because they feel like they have given up their body to someone who actually cares for them.  Men and women don’t take time to get to know one another in order to build a friendship with the person they are dating.  I believe courtship is another method that young people can use to select a potential marriage partner.  Courtship allows a man and woman the chance to really get to know one another, without the distractions of sex hindering their relationship.   

Let’s look at the differences of dating and courtship as methods for establishing a marital relationship.  As we look at these two methods, we want to see which one is best for building a strong foundation for a marriage. 

·         Dating – In the modern dating scene you usually hide all your faults to give a false impression about yourself, in order to keep your partner liking you.  Recreational dating is about self-gratification – you date to satisfy your own needs.

·         Courtship – Is about open and honest exploration of each other’s lives and families leading up to engagement and marriage.  Courtship is about marriage – you court in order to see if there is any reason why you shouldn’t get married.  There is no romantic interaction until after the commitment to marriage.

When a young man and woman decide to court one another, what the couple is saying is that they’re willing to submit themselves under the authority of God, their parents, and certain leaders in their lives.  The couple is allowing their parents or leaders to have input into their relationship in order to help them successfully get prepared for marriage.  Notice I said input and not control.  The courtship method is a biblical approach opposite to the dating method, because it calls for the dating couple to develop their relationship apart from any sexual activity.  Really the same thing can be done by two people who are dating one another, by following a biblical approach in their dating relationship instead of doing what culture promotes.  In the Bible it says in 1 Thessalonians 4:3, 4 “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.  Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor.”  We are to live honorably to God even in our dating or courting relationship, which mean abstaining from engaging in sex.  Couples should first learn how to communicate with each other, in order to build an authentic and honest relationship together.  I believe if we follow biblical principles for our life, it will cause us to flourish in every area of life.  Singles, I encourage you take a biblical approach either with dating or courtship for building a relationship.  I believe as you submit to the authority of God, your parents, and leaders in your life it can prepared you for marriage when it comes.   

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.