MOTHERHOOD NO INSTRUCTIONS INCLUDED - Part 1

This week I have a guest blogger . . . my lovely wife, Donna.  She is going to share with you over the next two weeks on the topic of “Motherhood – No Instructions Included.”  I hope you enjoy reading it.

I had a wonderful Mother’s Day.  I hope you did too.  I spent it with my “four favorite people” . . . my husband and my three children.  I am so grateful for the relationship that I have with my three grown children.  As I look back, it has been a journey filled with trial and error . . . ups and downs…highs and lows . . . but overall it has been a rewarding one.

I don’t know about you but I’m the type of person that when I buy any kind of gadget or product that comes with instructions, I read them or at least glance at them to make sure I understand the basics of how to operate what I purchased.  However, when you have a child, there are no instructions that come with that child that specifically gives you the perfect formula of how to raise him or her successfully.

I believe most moms have a sense of joy about carrying and delivering a child, and at the same time, we have a sense of uncertainty about being a great mom.  I can’t speak for others but I know this is what I felt.  I also felt that motherhood was one of my greatest challenges in life.  Even though I didn’t have specific instructions for each child, I did do a lot of reading on parenting and being a mother.  I also referred to radio programs such as “Focus on the Family” and “Family Life Today” for guidance.  The relationship that I enjoy with my children today is due in part to what I learned from others who had already traveled the path that I was embarking upon.  Even though children don’t come with “specific” instructions, there are some general principles that we can glean from to help us parent children who we can enjoy raising into adults.

Here are three lessons that I’ve learned that have helped me as a mom.  Today I will like to share one of them with you:

1.         Every child is different so get to know them and parent them accordingly. 

We have a tendency to parent our children the way we were raised.  While we may feel like our mom was great, we have to be careful not to repeat everything with our children.   I’m not saying we can’t use some of what we learned from our moms (or the person who raised us) but we do need to be selective.  If we just duplicate everything from our moms as we are raising our children, we could be in danger of not connecting with them and maybe driving them away.    If you have more than one child, you will notice no two children are alike.  My oldest was adventurous and strong-willed.  My middle child was more compliant and mild mannered and my youngest more vocal and expressive.  As you see with three different personalities, I had to tweak how I related to and raised each one.  Because I raised and trained them according to their “bent” and did not try to bend them into someone or something they were not, it has translated into a good relationship with each of them in their adult stage of life.

Moms motherhood is a job that we need to take seriously, if we are going to raise our children successfully.  We can do it together.  Next week I will continue to share the lessons I’ve learned as a mom. 

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.