DATING OR COURTSHIP, A FOUNDATION FOR BUILDING A MARRIAGE - Part 2

Today we are continuing our series entitled “Dating Or Courtship, A Foundation For Building A Marriage”.  Last week we talked about the differences between dating and courtship.  I said the purpose for this series is to let you know that the habits you practice in your dating or courting relationship, will be carried over into your marriage, and will become the foundation your marriage will be built on as a couple.  Over the next two weeks we want to look at three habits we can build our marriage on: spirituality, character, and friendship. 

We will continue looking at the differences between dating and courtship methods.  Nathan Bailey wrote in an article called: Dating vs. Courtship – Part 1 he said “Dating was invented in the early part of this century.  Prior to that time, marriage always involved much more input from the parents, and “trial relationships” leading up to marriage were not conducted at all.  Courtship should only happen once and ends in a life-long covenant relationship in marriage.  Dating happens lots of times, ends in many hurts, heartbreak, scars, and if you’re lucky, a partner that just may stay with you for the next few years, or (if you’re really lucky) the rest of your life.”  

If you are a single young man or woman who is dating, it is implied that you should have several relationships with as many people in order to meet the right person. I want you to know it isn’t meeting the right person that is going to cause you to have a successful marriage, but it is being the right person.  We need to build the correct habits into our life so we can be the right person for someone to marry.  Let’s look at two of the three habits that you can build on your marriage which are our spirituality, and character:

·         Spirituality – The belief in God or in something else that we willingly serve and submit our life to following.  It is our belief system that causes us to believe in the biblical principles of God or in the culture’s, and those truths will control our thoughts, actions (behavior), and decisions that will govern what we say or do in life.  Either we will allow God who created us to be over our dating or courtship relationship, or we will allow the culture’s philosophy of sex to be the god and rule of our relationships.  

·         Character - Who we are in public, is who we are in private when nobody is around us.  It includes walking in integrity being your true self.  It doesn’t include any surprises about you because you have taken off the mask.  In dating people wear mask trying to put their best foot forward, so the other person can’t see their faults, and who they really are in private.  Courtship allows you time to get to know a person, and see who they really are without sex getting in the way to cloud your judgement about them.

Last week I said many dating relationships are all about sex and how many sexual partners you can have or enjoy.   We also looked at a biblical principle where God said we are to live honorably to Him even in our dating or courting relationship, which means abstaining from sex.  I am not saying that sex is wrong because, we should enjoy it only in the right setting which is marriage.  Marriage is God’s idea and not man’s, and when He created marriage He put sex there for a husband and wife to become one physically with each other.  Sex taken out of context can be used to abuse and misuse people causing emotional hurts for them.  We can see this in a biblical principle here in Hebrews 13:4a “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled.”

As a person of faith and Christian, when my wife and I dated each other we decided to honor God with our relationship by doing it His way.  I was a virgin at the time, and even though my wife had experience sex before she became a Christian, we abstained from any sexual intercourse until we got married.  As a result of us following the biblical principles in our relationship, 30 years later it has paid off for us because God has caused our marriage to flourish.  Either you will live by biblical truths of the Bible which will dictate how you treat people in your relationship, or you will live by the culture’s truths which will justify how you mistreat them in your relationship.  Take off the mask and be yourself in your relationship.  Notice signs about a person’s character that you are dating or courting.  I encourage you to live by biblical truths in your dating or courtship relationship, because I want you to succeed in building for a good marriage.

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.