DATING OR COURTSHIP, A FOUNDATION FOR BUILDING A MARRIAGE - Part 3

In today’s blog I will be completing my series entitled “Dating Or Courtship, A Foundation For Building A Marriage”.  As I stated earlier, the purpose for this series is to let people know that the habits they practice in their dating or courting relationship, will become the foundation that their marriage will be built upon as a couple.  We have been focusing on practicing three habits that can become the foundation of our marriage which are our spirituality, character, and friendship with our partner.  Last week we discussed the habits of spirituality and character, so check out the blog dated – 8/25/15.  Today’s habit we will cover is friendship.  

·         Friendship – For couples who are either dating or courting one another, it is important that they build their relationships on a strong friendship.  Friendship is about couples learning how to become friends with each other, without the pressure of having to sleep with one another.  Friendship is where two people see what they have in common.  They are willing to give of themselves unselfishly to each other.  Becoming friends mean spending time getting to know one another, going out together, talking to each other and finding out their life goals.  Couples need to build an authentic and transparent friendship, in order to have an intimate relationship with each other.  When we hear the word intimate, the first thing people think of is sex of being intimate physically.  Here, the context of being intimate means two people building such a trust with each other that they feel safe sharing the good, bad, and ugly about themselves with one another. 

 

Young men and women the habits you practice in your relationship are going to happen either through a dating or courtship method.  Our culture says dating is about couples hanging out and hooking up sexually.  Courtship is about two people building an authentic transparent friendship with one another, without the distraction of sex getting in the way of the relationship.  Culture says you date to find the right person to marry, but I believe you must be the right person to marry.   Here’s a story to illustrate this point - A young lady that had been brought up in a religious home, and was taught all the right things about God.  She wasn’t turned off from God, but she just wanted to experience the culture’s way of dating for herself.  She was doing this to find the right person.  Later she met this nice Christian guy who had the total package.  He had the looks, he was living out his faith, he was living by his standards, he had a good job, and a nice car.  A couple days later the young lady was telling her mother about the guy, and her mother said honey the problem is a young man like that isn’t looking for a girl like you.  When she heard those words from her mother, it woke her up spiritually which caused her to drop to her knees in tears, and change the way she was living.  She no longer was going to try to find the right person, but she would become the right person a guy like that would want to marry. 

I believe when we are practicing the habits of spirituality, character, and friendship in our dating or courtship relationship we are building the foundation for a healthy marriage.  As followers of Christ we shouldn’t take our approach for dating from the culture, but from God’s biblical principles for dating or courtship.   In 2 Corinthians 6:14 it says “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers.  How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness?  How can light live with darkness?”   As Christians biblically we should date or court Christians who we only have things in common, because when you have two people in a relationship who are following different approaches to life it can cause problems.   My daughter Danielle almost four years ago decided she was going to live her life following God, and stop doing her own thing of engaging in sex.  Her life wasn’t fulfilled so she made the choice of staying sexually pure until she got married.  It’s been a hard road for Danielle to walk, but her determination has paid off for her.  God blessed her with a young man named Steve who is a Christian, and they are walking together in a courtship relationship with the hope of getting married.   Single young men and women, you need to build the right habits to become the right person for someone to marry.   Whether you use the dating or courtship method with the person you are in a relationship with, just remember the habits you practice with your partner, will become the foundation that you are taking into your marriage.  I encourage you to build the right for foundation for your marriage so it will last for a lifetime.

Would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or feedback.